Congratulations, your best buddy has picked you to be the best man at his upcoming wedding, the highest honor a friend can bestow upon you. Celebrations, whiskey, and cigars are all appropriate, but don’t lose sight of what this term signifies. Your friend expects you to speak at the wedding, not only as a trustworthy last line of defense if everything goes wrong at his upcoming nuptials. And giving a speech will be challenging if the wedding is as enormous as the weddings I’ve spoken at in recent years.
But don’t be alarmed. You don’t have to be a natural public speaker to give an excellent best man speech. All you’ll need are a few weeks to plan ahead of time (don’t wait until the last minute!) and our easy guidance. We guarantee you’ll be well-prepared to deliver an emotional and unique best man speech that will have the entire wedding party laughing and sobbing – all in good fun.
But first, why should you listen to me? That’s a good question. In the previous several years, I’ve attended more weddings than I can remember, and I was recently tasked with giving two distinct speeches. It’s an honor to be named best man, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Despite the fact that I’ve spoken at two weddings with over 200 friends, families, and plus-ones in attendance, I’m not a natural public speaker. Despite this, I was able to deliver meaningful speeches that I’m quite proud of, thanks to the help of several friends and this helpful strategy I devised while working through my own process.
With the proper preparation, I believe you, too, can deliver an excellent speech. I followed a three-part approach to prepare my talks, which I’ll walk you through step by step. I’ll also show you how to avoid some common stumbling blocks that can derail your presentation.
How to Write a Research Paper in Time for Your Best Man Speech
So your friend has just informed you that you will be the best man at his upcoming wedding. You could do a million and one things for him (including but not limited to organizing a bachelor party and keeping him cool on the day of the event). However, the most important task is to deliver the speech. But where do you begin? Research.
A good best man speech should last between three and four minutes. That’s not to say you can’t cross the line; only you will know where the line is drawn, but let’s be clear about one thing: the audience isn’t there to hear you speak. You should speak up because the best guy is expected to, but this isn’t about you. Nobody wants to hear you blather on about how your friend has transformed your life. People gathered to see pure love and joy during the wedding. So, if you’re going to be gone for more than five minutes, make sure you have a good reason.
Begin the research process by developing a few anecdotes from your time as friends. Don’t overdo it on the anecdotes. In these stories, you’re looking for three kinds of memories, ranging from the commonplace to the epic:
Anecdotes from you and your companion
Stories about you and your friend, as well as his future wife
Stories about you, your pal, and your circle of mates.
Don’t dismiss any one anecdote at this point; simply write down the anecdotes so you know what you’re dealing with. Give each story a title so you can remember it and go on (remember, you’re just brainstorming, so don’t write the complete storyline yet).
10 Things to Think About When Writing Your Best Man Speech
It is, however, quite simple to master, and it all boils down to the caliber of your words. A well-written and well-rehearsed speech is irreplaceable. Once you’ve mastered that, you’ll be delivering it to the easiest crowd you’ll ever meet: individuals who are generally a little merry, always up for a good time, and in a wonderfully cheery attitude.
Length
The most serious flaw here is that you talk for far too long. Everyone is interested in hearing your thoughts on the groom and his life to date, but no one loves him so much that they want to hear about it for a full twenty minutes. A great length is around 7 minutes or 1200 words. If you serve anything less, the guests will wonder why he hired you in the first place.
Jokes Crafted jokes, in my opinion, have no place in a wedding speech
No matter how mundane you imagine his life was, there will always be a funny way to paint the image; sometimes it only takes a little thought. Delivering a joke you read on the internet would almost certainly ruin the delivery, and saying it with conviction is about as difficult as it gets unless you’re a part-time stand-up comic.
Introduction
Many Best Men fail to see that, unless they make a show of themselves at the church, many of the guests will have no idea who they are or how they know the Groom. As a result, at the outset of the speech, provide a brief outline of who you are and what your relationship is.
Order
Begin at the beginning. Although it may seem obvious, I’ve heard a lot of Best Man speeches in which the speaker presents a random assortment of anecdotes from the Groom’s life. If you provide an easy-to-follow speech, the audience will be on your side and eager for the next nugget. If you confuse them, you’ll be bewildered as to why there’s a sea of expressionless faces in front of you.
Anecdotes
Please don’t go insane. It’s fine to utilize a few experiences to help move things along and provide insight into who the Groom is, but it shouldn’t be an anecdote-fest. Endless tales of disasters can grow tiresome after a while, so mix in some observations about his profession, dating, and life interests to make it more palatable.
Humour
Begin slowly and gradually build up to a crescendo. Nobody expects you to be the next big comedian, but anyone can be funny if they try hard enough, which is why, if you’re not used to writing comedy, you’ll need some time to think things through. You’ll always have something hilarious to say, so reserve it until near the end, because this is what most people will remember. You can make a joke about how or where you met in the introduction, and then add a couple more as you go. The humour is present in the delivery, as it is in many talks.
Read it aloud
Make certain that you grasp the distinction between
writing words to be read and writing words to be uttered. Always print a copy of your speech and read it aloud – any word repeats or awkward sentences will stand out, and you can alter them afterwards. When you read from a screen, you will always miss something.
Your Individuality
Never try to write a speech in someone else’s manner.
If you copy and paste something from the internet, it will stand out, so think about how you’d phrase it if you were going to steal something. Keep in mind that he has requested you, not Google, to deliver the speech.
The Final Word
This is the point at which you stop joking and say something appropriate and touching about the newlyweds. One thing is critical: be honest. Analyze a period when he actually aided you or was there for you, and consider what characteristics that indicates. What makes you think of him as a friend? You’ll be fine if you keep it short and sweet, and not too gooey.
The Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid!
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Making a complete grammatical mistake
You must get the tone of humour just right if you want to make your best friend laugh his socks off while not insulting his family. Even if you do not consider the remarks to be offensive, they can induce an old person to swallow their dentures. Avoid even small obscenities such as garbage or bleeding, as well as filthy references, to be safe.
Infuriating the bride’s relatives!
Also, try not to anger the bride or her parents! They won’t want to hear endless tales about the groom’s failed conquests or how much more attractive his ex-partners were. You can come across as cheeky with only a few digs – but not with a laundry list of defects!
The deadly stag weekend is depicted in great detail
Whatever transpired during that amazing stag do should be kept between those who were present unless it is appropriate for all visitors! The worst best man will be so proud of the massive booze fest that he will be compelled to describe it in great detail – even the stripper who turned out to be a bloke – but will remain utterly oblivious to the crowd reaction and continue regardless.
You are demolished before delivering your speech
It’s tempting to have a few drinks to increase your confidence, but don’t embarrass yourself! Adrenaline can intensify the effects of drinking, and the photographic evidence will stick with you for the rest of your life. You’re also likely to slur your words or incorporate all of the nasty jokes you so carefully avoided when practicing your lines. Save the alcohol for your big toast!
Dos and Don'ts of Writing a Wedding Speech
Do
You should not be frightened to be yourself. It’s either your wedding or the newlyweds have asked you to speak about them; they wouldn’t have asked if they didn’t value and trust your connection, so now is your moment to shine for them — as yourself.
Talk about the relationship. Make the most of your distinctive, weird, or quirky characteristics, but avoid too many inside jokes or “you had to be there” connections. The audience is interested in hearing your thoughts about the newlyweds.
Start with a thud. Start with a catchy opener or joke if you can tell one and have one that is appropriate. Otherwise, keep the obscene jokes to the bachelor or bachelorette party (or the bathroom). For example, when I was preparing my first wedding speech as an officiant, I began with the “best” joke I could think of. “Dearly adored… and Adam,” I’d say in my best sonorous voice, eliciting rolling laughter from people who didn’t like Adam, the bride’s stepfather. However, because he was footing the bill for this extravagant affair and the joke was truly rude, it was removed.
Tell a story. The best speech is one that tells a tale with a beginning, middle, and finish that focuses on the couple. “When Fred and I hopped on a motorcycle and rode from his mother’s house to his new flat in Melbourne, we both knew he’d gone west to seek his fortune,” I stated as best man 20 years ago. We couldn’t have guessed that Lizzy would be our lucky charm.”
Thank you for participating. Thank you to those who deserve special acknowledgement for their contributions and participation. This should include family members, close friends, and persons who have traveled a long distance or under difficult conditions. Remember those who were unable to attend due to illness, travel restrictions, or other major or family issues.
Say it in five minutes. In this case, less is more, so keep it brief and sweet. Make the audience want to know more. Five minutes is an ideal amount of time.
Practice in front of a mirror. Practice your speech in front of a mirror and with a close friend who will be completely honest with you. When it comes to the officiant’s speech, I strongly recommend that you practice it in front of the actual couple. On a particular day, you don’t want everything that comes out of your mouth to be stuck in their craw. Also, unless you address them directly, such as “Do you?” they won’t hear much of what you’re saying during the ceremony.
It can be printed or scribbled on index cards. Don’t bother to recall your speech unless you’re an actor. It must be written. It ought to be printed. Give a backup copy to a trustworthy friend who will not misplace it. Better still, try this: My talks are jotted down on index cards and stored in a spiral notebook. If you’ve ever seen a sitcom wedding, you’re familiar with what can go wrong when a stack of cards is involved. You can’t lose a card on that spiral, you can’t rearrange them, and if you’re speaking from a platform, you can only see two at a time. When everything is connected in this manner, there is less flipping, and you are less likely to lose your place. Another reason I prefer the smaller, stockier index cards is because if you’re nervous and your hands tremble, it’ll be far less noticeable with the cards in your hand than with a giant piece of paper fluttering in the air.
Make a toast to the newlyweds. Remember to salute the bride and groom at the end of your speech
Don’t rely on gimmicks. They’ve all already been used. It’s acceptable to utilize a quote from a poem or a religious text that matches what you’re saying and is wedding-appropriate. But don’t just toss in some lovey-dovey proverbs and flowery phrases for the sake of it.
Curse. Your speech should not include the phrase “anything blue.” Don’t curse or be obnoxious, even if you’re known for it.
However, if you are at a loss for words or want your speech to seem more polished than you believe you can achieve on your own, engage a writer to help you. Make a note of it in your mind. Write down and practice your speech, but don’t try to remember it until you’re confident in your ability to do so. You run the risk of appearing stiff, insincere, and lifeless.
Develop a state of inebriation. Alternatively, you may be drunk prior to giving your speech. One drink before the event is fine and may even be useful to your nerves. Bring along a second drink to toast the newlyweds. At the end of your speech, it will be a fantastic prize for a job well done.
It is all up to you. Finally, some words of wisdom on “speaking from the heart” (also known as “winging it”): It’s not a good idea. You just finished reading this essay, and while it may make sense to you, you’re probably going to stand up there in June with nothing more than a glass of champagne in your hand. I’m aware of who you are. I was once you. Even a hurriedly scrawled speech on the back of an envelope on a train can be great. It’s impossible to deliver a speech that’s printed in champagne bubbles. If you don’t have something written down to keep you on course, you may ramble on and on… You’ve lasted far longer than the five minutes you’re supposed to be the center of attention.
